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Ask the Expert: Industry Insights

When things go wrong: using self-compassion to sustain your equine veterinary career

By Stacey Cordivano, DVM

Let’s be honest: the practice of veterinary medicine is hard. Whether you’re a new graduate still finding your footing or a seasoned practitioner with decades under your belt, the chances are you have lain awake at night replaying a case. You’ve wondered, “Should I have done something differently?”

The self-critical spiral after a mistake or a difficult outcome is one of the most common, and least talked about, parts of veterinary life. And it takes a toll. Burnout, compassion fatigue, and poor mental health are well-documented across our profession. But there’s a skill that can genuinely help, one that’s backed by a body of research: self-compassion.

WHAT IS SELF-COMPASSION AND WHAT ISN’T IT?
Most of us were never taught self-compassion. In fact, a lot of us were taught the opposite – that being hard on yourself is what makes you a good clinician. It was shown to us that if you care enough, you’ll hold yourself to an impossibly high standard. We saw self-criticism as being the same thing as conscientiousness.

Self-compassion isn’t about lowering your standards or letting yourself off the hook. It’s not self-pity, and it’s not telling yourself that mistakes don’t matter. Researcher Dr. Kristin Neff, who has spent decades studying this topic, describes self-compassion as having three interconnected parts: being kind to yourself in moments of difficulty; recognizing that struggle and imperfection are part of the shared human experience; and holding your painful feelings with some perspective rather than drowning in them.

Put simply: it’s treating yourself with the same basic decency you’d offer a colleague going through the same thing.

WHY THIS MATTERS FOR US SPECIFICALLY
Veterinary medicine attracts a particular kind of person: driven, detail-oriented, high-achieving, and genuinely caring. Those same qualities can make us our own harshest critics when things don’t go to plan. We set the bar high, so when we inevitably fall short of it, the internal response can be brutal.

Studies across health professions consistently show that self-compassion is associated with less burnout, greater emotional resilience, and surprisingly, better professional performance. When we’re locked in shame or self-punishment after a mistake, our cognitive resources are tied up in that emotional loop.

We’re less able to think clearly, learn effectively, or move forward constructively. Self-compassion, paradoxically, creates the psychological safety needed to look honestly at what went wrong.

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE AFTER A DIFFICULT CASE
Imagine you’ve just had a case that didn’t go the way you hoped. Maybe it’s a colic that turned surgical when you expected it to resolve medically. Maybe it’s a lameness diagnosis that took longer than it should have. The inner critic kicks in immediately: “I should have caught that sooner.” “What does the client think of me now?”

A self-compassionate response doesn’t dismiss those thoughts but instead meets them differently. It might sound something like: “This is genuinely hard. I did my best with the information I had at the time. Every veterinarian experiences difficulty. What can I take from this going forward?” That’s not complacency — it’s the mental foundation from which actual learning and growth become possible.

One practical anchor is a simple question you can ask yourself in those moments: “What would I say to a colleague I respected if they came to me with this exact situation?” Chances are you wouldn’t tear them apart. You’d be honest, yes — but you’d also be kind. Try extending that same response inward.

We got into this work because we care, deeply, about the animals we treat and the people who love them. That care deserves to be directed inward too. Not at the expense of high standards, but as the foundation that makes those standards sustainable.

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